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Forever Outdoors - Sisyphus Climbing Tours

The perfect outdoor adventure company for people who understand that the journey never actually ends. Sisyphus Climbing Tours specializes in repetitive uphill struggles where reaching the summit means starting over again tomorrow. Modern life already feels like pushing boulders uphill forever, so why not embrace the absurdity and call it recreation instead of torture.

Hedonistic Climate Nihilist

The ultimate conversation starter for climate activists with a dark sense of humor. Walking around in this shirt will make people do double-takes while you explain that you actually care deeply about the environment. It's the perfect ironic statement that forces people to confront their assumptions about climate messaging while sparking debates about individual responsibility versus systemic change. Of course, it's a different story when you wear it without irony!

Hello my name is shareholder value

Corporations aren't people. They're profit-extracting machines wearing human masks at board meetings. Your employer doesn't care about your wellbeing, your community, or your future. They care about quarterly returns and stock prices. Milton Friedman won. Human dignity lost. The invisible hand is giving you the middle finger.

How Philosophy works

Philosophy works by taking obvious truths and making them questionable, then taking questionable things and making them obvious. It transforms simple questions into complex problems while revealing that complex problems often have deceptively simple solutions. Philosophy doesn't give you answers, it teaches you better questions to ask about reality, meaning, and existence.

I did my own research

The Dunning-Kruger effect in action: overconfidence born from not knowing enough to realize how little you know. Real research requires understanding methodology, peer review, and statistical analysis - not browsing conspiracy blogs until you find confirmation for what you already wanted to believe.

I read Plato to argue online

The internet turned everyone into philosophers armed with ancient wisdom and zero wisdom about when to use it. You spend hours reading The Republic just to win a Twitter debate about pineapple on pizza. This collection celebrates weaponizing classical education for the most trivial modern disagreements, because if you're going to argue about everything, you might as well sound smart doing it.